to clutz (v)

I am a notorious clutz. So much so that I've coined a new verb: to clutz. To demonstrate the many applications of this verb, I will describe some of my recent clutzes (nb - this post is inspired by my bro's blog, where he talks about little things driving him mad. Clutzing all the time drives me mad). Anyway:

1) I clutzed a brand new, extremely good record down the side of my desk as I took it off the deck, thereby nearly scratching it. Thank god it was only nearly.

2) In her wisdom, Georgie decided my plants might like some genuine rain water, so encouraged me to stick my arm out the window during a shower then sprinkle the rain on said plants. The arm wetting went without incident. Next, I skipped accross my room towards Mabel, my big potted tree. En route, I clutzed into the lid to my record deck, which was lying face up on the floor. Since I stood on the 'wall' of the lid, it flipped up (like the rakes in that episode of the Simpsons with Sideshow Bob), thereby taking a chunk of skin off my toe and bashing my shin quite hard.

3) Every time I leave the house (every time, people, I am not a man prone to exaggeration), I clutz up and leave something behind. (bike lock, wallet, keys, water bottle, the designs I need to show a client at the meeting I'm leaving for)

4) I regularly clutz into door frames, walls, trip over myself, etc. Regularly = daily.

5) I was recently chilling in my lounge, when I clutzed over a pint of water. I jumped up to grab a tea towel, sticking the spliff I was toking between my lips. Thing is, I clutzed it into my mouth lit end first. Lacking the pint of water I'd previously clutzed over, I burnt my throat.

Thats a double clutz my friends, and terminates this post.